We like to talk about food a lot because it's one of our favorite things. We start off every day with a balanced breakfast (we can tell it's balanced because there are equal amounts in both our dishes) and have bowls of cheerios (Mom says it's all natural dry cat food, but we're pretty sure that it's cheerios for cats) to nibble on all day. That's a pretty mundane diet but the vet says that it's the best way to keep us healthy so our menu doesn't include lovely things like roast chicken or pheasant under glass. Of course, in our early formative months, we had an entirely different menu that consisted mostly of things like bugs and whatever Deano could kill.
Deano is the hunter and while he tries to keep that a secret from Mom, we're pretty sure she's figured it out. For one thing, she likes to watch birds and so do we.........but since Deano goes into a low crouch, fixes his steely eyes on the bird and licks his lips a lot, Mom has come to the conclusion that our bird watching is probably motivated by a different kind of love for birds.
We're lucky to be on the migratory path for a lot of different birds so we see all kinds of feathered delicacies on all of the Kitty Cable channels. Deano is the expert on birds and even helps Mom identify species that she's never seen before. If she says, "I wonder what kind of bird that is?", Deano can helpfully reply either, "Appetizer", "Entree", or "I still think I can take it." Since he's such an expert, we're going to let Deano do all the reviews for the Food Network. Take it away Deano!
Okay, let's not waste time typing when we could be sleeping. I'll start with the basic definitions for each feathery food group.
Appetizer--These are small birds like sparrows and finches. We get all kinds of finches on the Kitty Cable channels. There are the small grey house finches that aren't much more than a bundle of fluff. Once you get past the feathers, there's only a mouthful or two of food. Just slightly larger are the colored finches with red or yellow heads. They taste about the same as grey finches, but their colorful plumage makes a nice addition to any festive holiday meal. The third type of finch is the grey singing finch that's larger but still not as big as a sparrow. They do have a lovely singing voice if you like a floor show with your meal.
Entree--Entrees are birds the size of robins and blue jays and woodpeckers. The Backyard Channel has a deep birdbath so we see a lot of entrees there. The robins spend the most time in it because Mrs. Robin loves to soak in the tub whenever she gets the chance. That prompted Mom to put in two more birdbaths.....one medium sized one that the squirrels like to use and a very small one for the finches that doesn't get used by the finches because the cats from next door think it's a drinking fountain and apparently finches are fussy little birds that refuse to bathe in water that has a little bit of cat spit in it.
I Still Think I Can Take It--Now these are the birds that will make enough dinner for you to alienate all your friends by refusing to share. On Kitty Cable in Denver, we have birds like mexican ravens that have wing spans almost four feet across and the bird part is almost two feet tall! Mom hates those ravens and says all kinds of bad things about their mothers because they are predators who eat baby birds and squirrels and they also chase off the song birds. She gets a little crazy now and then and runs around the yard waving a broom in the air and yelling obscene things when they show up (an act that could bring back Vaudeville!) so it's doubtful that I'll ever get a chance at one, but I'm still pretty sure I could take one. There was another flying thing that went over our house and cast a big shadow on the grass and fence. I told Mom that it was an "I Still Think I Can Take It", but she said it's something called an airplane and none of its parts are edible. Hmmpf. I'd still like to have the thrill of the chase if I could!
Today's featured bird on KCFN is a magpie. It's a new visitor to Kitty Cable and we were surprised by his visit this morning. Since we could hear an answering call in the distance to his rather rough song, that could mean that he's looking for a place to raise a family. Mom loved seeing a big bird like that close up, but she's not thrilled about them moving in. Apparently those birds are just plain shit house crazy when they mate and will start attacking humans! Still, even I have to admit that they are handsome birds in their own version of a tuxedo. For a bird, he's not bad looking. I wonder if the fact that he has good taste means that he also tastes good?
Hugs and Purrs,
Deano
