If there were an awards show for Kitty Cable (maybe next year), right now we'd give the highest honors to Tinkerbell and his talent for pissing off squirrels. This week he raised the bar for combining catitude, elegance, intelligence, and snark with just the right amount of mean thrown in for good measure.
Let's back up and start at the beginning. You should know that our Mom believes in feeding everyone. We were a little surprised to find that included feeding the birds, but then we decided that she was just being cool in a Hansel and Gretel type of way and fattening them up. We're okay with that, but when she started feeding the squirrels we wondered why she'd want to waste good seeds on those damned rats. Then we started watching the Squirrelapallooza that resulted from her hanging a basket with a seed brick in it over by one of the trees where the squirrels hang out. The next morning there were 8 squirrels in our yard acting like it was shrimp night at the all you can eat buffet! They can't carry off the seed, but they can reach inside the cage wires and break off pieces of it, so there were squirrels having picnics all over the backyard. It was quite an event and Mom enjoyed watching them be all silly and squirrely. She was laughing and that's worth the cost of some birdseed! Anyway, the birds have their own feeder that's squirrel proof, but Mom makes sure that the squirrels get their snacks too so everyone is happy.
Of course, Tinkerbell, our friend from next door, thinks that the yard full of squirrels is an epic opportunity to screw with those furry little bastards and all we can say is that we SO envy his fun and games with them. Tinkerbell's humans make him wear a collar with tags on it that jingle and that's so unfair because the squirrels can hear him coming and he doesn't get to stalk them in proper cat fashion. When he tried stalking a squirrel that was having lunch under the seed cage, that squirrel whirled around and just as Tinkerbell coiled up his muscles and sprang into the air, the squirrel ran past him and right up the side of a tree! Tinkerbell had a few choice words to chatter at the squirrel from his position on the ground under the tree and that squirrel had the gall to laugh at him. Well, no feline with any self respect will stand for that so Tinkerbell summoned up every ounce of his dignity and slowly turned to walk back to the seed cage........where he calmly turned around and sat down. The look he gave the squirrel very clearly said, "Now what are you going to do?" and that was one seriously pissed off squirrel!
Oh, well played Mr. Tinkerbell! Well played indeed! We were watching all this from inside and giving two paws up to Tinkerbell for such perfect feline bitchiness as to sit down in the exact spot where that squirrel wanted to be. In fact, there wasn't any other place in the whole wide world where that squirrel wanted to be except under that feeder sucking up seeds and corn and he was letting the world know about it! He called Tinkerbell some names that would make an old cat blush, but Tink just sat there washing one paw and acting like he had nothing better to do than hang out there all day and half the night. We thought that squirrel was going to have a little heart attack right there on the spot! Oh my goodness, but that was the most pissed off squirrel we've ever seen. He'd hang on the side of the tree and scream at Tink for awhile, then he'd gather up his courage and try to take a run at Tinkerbell...........only to squeak and retreat every time Tink raised his paw. After the squirrel had reached a frenzy of screaming that was becoming a little annoying, Tinkerbell decided to call the game and walked away with the kind of smug swagger that only a tomcat can work.
Mom and her BFF were sitting on the patio watching all this and we have to give them a few catitude points for being so amused by it, but all the kudos and applause goes to Tinkerbell for some of the classiest squirrel tormenting that we've seen in a long time. That was truly an art form and we'll always consider ourselves fortunate to have seen a Master at work like that.
Hugs and purrs,
Frankie and Deano
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